For some people, holiday songs trigger negative mental and physical reactions. I’m talking about those holiday songs that become earworms, that we have to listen to every single year. But those songs still have this strange, special place in our lives. I’ve found that I actually like some of them. I might even love a few of them. Just don’t tell anyone, okay?
“All I Want for Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey (1994)
Why You Might Cringe…
This is the ultimate “will somebody PLEASE press skip!” song of all holiday songs. Granted, it’s still loved by a vast amount of the world, but it gets a ton of heat and I can understand why. Its painfully cheerful upbeat-ness is overwhelming, frantic, and a bit cringey. It’s kind of like getting blasted with Clark Griswold’s Christmas lights for four minutes straight. And while everyone loves a swinging rock groove, this one gets on your nerves after about five seconds. The song also plays 57,000 times a day for over a month…ugh.
Why I Secretly Love It
Modal mixture (blending major and minor modes)? Shifting to minor 6 on the bridge? Outlining 7th chords in the melody? That #5 on the dominant 6 chord? C’mon now! It’s increasingly rare to find a modern-era hit song with such an interesting melodic and chordal structure when compared with the simplistic ones found in a lot of pop music. (Cue “old man yells at cloud” meme.) And I won’t lie . . . when I have to play those fast piano chords at the end of the intro like a madman, I get a bigger thrill than when Buddy hears Santa is coming, and that’s saying something!
“Last Christmas” by Wham! (1984)
Why You Might Cringe…
Typically holiday songs are about coming together, but nope, this song is about a failed relationship that still hurts a year later. Ouch. And then he says, “this year . . . I’ll give it to someone special,” as in, not you. Double ouch.
Why I Secretly Love It
Everyone knows the ’80s have come back with a roar in all media, and this song is all ’80s. It features a Roland JUNO-60 synthesizer, a LinnDrum drum machine, and, of course, George Michael, who wrote the song and played every instrument on the track. As a child of ’80s kids, this one has a special place in my memory; my mom loves this song. Also, I do quite like the instrumental synth interludes. Similar to the Mariah song, it outlines 7th chords in an interesting way, including some fun color tones/extensions. I personally like to sing along and turn it into my own little holiday-themed 7th-chord exercise!
“Dominick the Donkey” by Lou Monte (1960)
Why You Might Cringe…
Many people don’t know this song, and when they hear it for the first time, they’re usually confused. It’s absurd and strange. Why do we need a holiday song about a donkey? That understands Italian? And can dance? Who asked for this?
Why I Secretly Love It
Listen, I married into an Italian family, so I’m not allowed to hate this song. I think there was a clause about it in my marriage license. Lucky for me, I find this song delightful. A dancing, Italian-speaking donkey? Brilliant! Donkey sounds that the entire family can yell together? Hilarious! Furthermore, Lou Monte fans will know this song borrows from the tarantella rhythm and structure of his 1958 hit, “Lazy Mary,” which is Monte’s version of the Neapolitan classic “C’è La Luna.” That connection to Italian-American music history makes me want to scream “hee-haw!” even louder.
“Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney (1979)
Why You Might Cringe…
Ahh, the late ’70s/’80s had some great music. Paul’s best lyrics? Nope. A horde of synthesizers hammering quarter-note triplets? Yep.
Why I Secretly Love It
When this song comes on, I sing the chorus very loudly every time. (Oh, how my family just adores me.) Seriously though, I like the triplets, mostly because it changes slightly here and there, so there’s never only one variation. I also like the ascending chord progression built in 4ths on the chorus (C#–F#–D#–G#–E–A–B). When I cover this song, I usually add a bunch of totally unnecessary extensions and chord substitutions, which makes soloing over it a lot of fun.
“The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late)” by David Seville (1958)
Why You Might Cringe…
Materialistic lyrics. Silly banter. Chipmunk vocals.
Why I Secretly Love It
The Chipmunks are pretty interesting from an engineering perspective. Ross Bagdasarian, a.k.a. David Seville, achieved the classic chipmunk sound by recording his voice at half-speed then playing it back normally to raise the pitch. That means a 4-bar section had to be recorded as eight bars. He also had to sing with a pure tone because any vibrato would sound bad at full speed. There were no fancy plug-ins to alter the performance. Imagine that! There’s also the small fact that the song won three Grammy Awards. That’s quite an accomplishment for three
Tamias striatus (chipmunks).